Interesting thoughts

You can tell someone doesn't read much if they keep trying to talk to you while you're reading a book
 
The female stereotype of putting your hands on your hips exists because none of their clothing has pockets.
 
The idea that humans are able to consider another species "over populated" is kind of arrogant.
 
Heat, Pressure, and Time. The three things that make a diamond, are also the three things that make a waffle.
 
Who looked at a bowl of rice and was like " I bet the most efficient way of eating this is with two sticks"
 
We are going to feel pretty silly when it turns out North Korea has been firing missiles at sea monsters this whole time.
 
I am so happy I live in a world with Facebook. Before that, it would have taken weeks, even months, before finding out someone was an idiot.
 
Cinderella must have a hard time shopping for shoes if literally no one else in the kingdom had her size
 
What if over time the developers of Pokémon GO slowly reduce Pokémon spawn rates to zero, and the app turns out to be a publicity stunt to warn about the dangers of over hunting and extinction.
 
My goal in life is to become famous enough to the point where if someone kills me, I'm considered 'assassinated', and not 'murdered'.
 
Bedtime is so metal. You brush the exposed bits of your skeleton so they don't get destroyed by tiny creatures in your sleep, then you'll turn off all the lights and lie in the silent dark for 8 hours.
 
When you order food at a restaurant, you always start your order with a drink. At a fast food joint, you always end your order with a drink.
 
One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you’re the mom.
 
It seems kind of douchy for medical offices to charge Alzheimer's patients for missed or forgotten appointments.
 
If you watch sitcoms without the laugh tracks, the characters just give each other cringed looks and awkward silences for those jokes.
 
Most people don't take offense when you say "the average person is an idiot" because most people think they are above average
 
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