Racist Jokes Thread

Mave

Mave

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The Official Racist Jokes Thread
Jokes that are racially based upon skincolour, country of origin, language, religion,...

DISCLAIMER: This is purely meant for fun. Want to make jokes about guys with curly hair from Belgium? (me) Go ahead!
Don't like racist jokes? Ignore this topic. :biggrin:
PERSONAL DISCLAIMER: I'm not racist at all. I just find these jokes funny like many other people.

I'll try to post a lot in here (almost daily)
Let me start off with some black jokes.

Enjoy! (Or not, which is also cool.)





I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.



Q: How does every Black joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder!



Q: Why don't black people go on cruises?
A: They're not falling for that one again.



A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her and nicks her purse.



Q: What's white on top and black on bottom?
A: Society.



So, Pokemon Black came out this weekend.
Gotta Catch Jamal.



What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?
One's on the cover of Playboy and the other's on the cover of National Geographic.



If a black person stole a hifi, would it be stereotypical?



I've come back early from a performance by a black drama group.
They stole the show.



What's black and sleeps with my daughter?
Nothing, because I'm a good father.





More coming if someone likes this, if not then this is the end of the racist jokes thread :laugh:
 
Q: What do you call a black pilot?
A: A pilot you racist scum.

Q: What is long and black?
A: The unemployment line

Q: Why shouldn't you laugh when you hit a black person riding a bike?
A: It could have been your bike.

Q: What is one black person on the moon?
A: A problem
Q: What are 2 black persons on the moon?
A: Twice the problems
Q: What are all the black persons on the moon?
A: A solution.
 
Impulse said:
Q: What is one black person on the moon?
A: A problem
Q: What are 2 black persons on the moon?
A: Twice the problems
Q: What are all the black persons on the moon?
A: A solution.
Click to expand...

This one is awesome.





Q: What do you call a black abortion clinic?
A/ Crimestoppers.



I've always stood up for black people.
It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat.



After complaints that there aren't enough black people on British television, the BBC have vowed to solve the problem.
They are now going to show Crimewatch seven nights a week.



When does a black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.



Is it all black people that have a problem with slavery?
Or just mine.



You know what they say, once you go black...
You're a single mother.



I like my women like I like my coffee.
Hot, wet and not black



What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go into a convenience store without Robin.



Why does Beyonce keep singing: To the left, to the left?
Because, everybody knows that blacks don't have any rights.



Sick of having your house burgled by niggers?
Save money on home security by simply writing the words "Job Centre" on your door.



My Girlfriend wants a white wedding. That's fine by me.
I didn't want to invite any Blacks or Pakis anyway.



Q: What's the difference between extortion and rape?
A: The spelling of blackmail.
 
Q: What is the quickest way to kill 10 flies?
A: Hit a Somali kid in the face with a shovel



Q: What do you do when a nigger runs around in your garden?
A: Shorten the chain
 
^ That first one almost killed me.





Football:
The legal way to buy a nigger.



Q: What is white and covers the streets first thing on a winter's morning?
A: Employed people.



My daughter was going on a date with a black guy and I was furious. I said to her, "If you go out that front door, that's it, you won't ever be coming back into my house!'
You can imagine the smug look on my face at being proved right when the police called to say she'd been raped and murdered.



Q: What do black men do after sex?
A: 15 years to life.



Q: What do Africans and bikes have in common?
A: They both work better with chains on.
 
I'm going to rip out Aboriginal jokes because 'STRAYA CUNT.
But seriously the Abos are fuckin' everywhere.



What do you call an Aboriginal with one shoe?
Lucky.
What do you call an Aboriginal with two shoes?
A thief.

What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of four.

What's the difference between an Aboriginal and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
 
^ Those are awesome lol.





Life is like a box of chocolates.
I hate the dark ones.



It's been revealed that 90% of Black men wear their socks during sex,
and a balaclava
and a knife.



I was sat at a red light in my car when this nigger pulled up next to me and started revving his engine. "Race?" he shouted.
"White, now fuck off you black cunt" I replied.



Someone should tell Mr.T that he wears more chains than his ancestors.



My new neighbour popped his head over the fence today and said, "What's going down, brother?"
I said, "The value of my house since you moved in, you black bastard."



Q: Why did the riots stop after four days?
A: Because blacks never do a full week's work.
 
Where is the best place to hide a black man's food stamps?
Under his work boots.
 
Why do black people smell that bad?

So blind people can hate them too.
 
How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant?
When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.
 
What do you get when you combine a nigger and an octupus?
I don't know, but it picks cotton faster than anything else.

What is a barn full of dead niggers?
Outdated farm equipment.
 
A black man and a white man are roommates. One day, the building burns down, killing the black man. Why did the white man survive?
He went to work.
 
How are black people and tornadoes similar?
It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.
 
A kid asks his gardener dad "Dad, why do they say you have a green thumb, when yours are just normal skin color?"
"Well," The dad replies, "It's a figure of speech! Like how they say when a thief gets caught stealing, they say "caught red handed", when their hands are really just black"
 
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