Interesting thoughts

[Mave]

In my lifetime I will be the last person to die

 

[Mave]

The plainer the envelope, the more serious the contents.

 

[Mave]

Gym Memberships should come with Spotify Premium

 

[Mave]

Dreaming is the equivalent of watching a movie you're really into then suddenly the power cuts out

 

[Mave]

Every truck is a food truck if you're a cannibal

 

[Mave]

If my cell phone died, even if I was standing right next to a working pay phone I still couldn't use it because without my cell phone I don't know anyone's phone number.

 

[Mave]

Roommates are better than friends because they have to give you a two weeks notice before they leave you

 

[Mave]

In the future, people will refer to our current age as 'The Oil Age'.

 

[Mave]

Ever noticed how supervillains are always trying to change things and superheroes always try to resist the change?

 

[Mave]

One day someone will use "I thought I was still in VR" as a criminal defense

 

[Mave]

If the Pope sneezes, nobody is in a high enough position of power to bless him

 

[Mave]

The speed of a clock's second hand is exactly 1 RPM.

 

[Mave]

You never appreciate breathing through your nose, until you have a cold

 

[Mave]

I have successively pooped, going 500 mphs, in a chair, in the sky.

 

[Mave]

"Mommy watch this" is my 5 year-old's version of my "Hold my beer".

 

[Mave]

Cows born in India basically won the life lottery

 

[Mave]

The Cellphone has probably destroyed the alarm clock industry.

 

[Mave]

Whoever decided that an uppercase 'I' and lowercase 'l' should look exactly the same on a computer was a sadistic monster.

 

[Mave]

A vacuum is one of the only items where "collecting dust" means you actually use it.

 

[Mave]

If someone says "I'm gay" over and over people would think "oh we know, shut up about it." But if a person says "I'm straight" over and over again people would think they're gay.