Interesting thoughts

If 9/11 had happened this year instead of 2001, we'd have all kinds of horrifying, incredible footage from people trapped inside the World Trade Center since everyone would have had a smartphone.
 
People who say "sorry I look like shit, I'm not wearing any make-up" are literally apologizing for looking like a normal human being.
 
Whenever someone says their zodiac sign is enough to describe them on its own, it is. But probably not for the reason they think.
 
Turning off your Wifi at a party you were hosting and waiting to see how long it took for people to notice would be a good indicator of how much fun people are actually having.
 
Waking up with a hangover is like rebooting in safe mode. The main functions still work, but it's impossible to get anything else done.
 
Being high in front of your parents, is like doing the best impression of yourself.
 
Time machines need to be teleportation machines also because otherwise you'll end up in the middle of space while the earth has orbited somewhere else entirely.
 
If zombies don't attack each-other then zombies would be more peaceful towards each other then how humans are towards other humans. Maybe zombies aren't that bad after all...
 
We invented phones so we wouldn't have to type out our messages. Look at us now.
 
After the credits of a film that is "based on a true story" there should be a brief summary of the differences between the film and reality.
 
You can't blame aliens for abducting humans. If humans perfected space travel and made first contact with a more primitive alien race, we'd probably abduct them too.
 
If dentists make their money from unhealthy teeth, why would i trust a product that 9/10 of them recommend?
 
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