I walked by a really big guy on a bike the other day. He yelled, "GET OUT OF THE WAY." He was on an exercise bike at the gym.
Girlfriend: "what would you like *wink"
Boyfriend: "Babe, the sexiest thing you could do for me right now is learn to play World of Warcraft"
My bestfriends roommates msn status was "My roomate is gone now and I am naked in my living room I feel like a rebel, and kind of cold."
My friend just told me "I rarely wash my hands in public bathrooms because I know the taps are way more dirty than my penis."
Today in gym class the teacher yelled "OK everybody, grab your balls!"