Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

[Mave]

Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America's uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon.
"Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran," said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and "everything they need" to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material.
"Obviously, the prospect of this happening is very distressing to Iran and all countries like Iran. After all, the United States is a volatile nation that's proven it needs little provocation to attack anyone anywhere in the world whom it perceives to be a threat."
Iranian intelligence experts also warned of the very real, and very frightening, possibility of the U.S. providing weapons and resources to a rogue third-party state such as Israel.

Source: http://www.theonion.com/articles/iran-worried-us-might-be-building-8500th-nuclear-w,27325/?ref=auto :troll:

 

[Stybar]

Damn you, Mave, I almost believed it.

 

[Fries]

Ugh why the hell are they concerned about the US building 8,500 Nuclear Weapons? Everyone knows about their massive nukes on the moon and jupiter.

 

[Stybar]

Ugh why the hell are they concerned about the US building 8,500 Nuclear Weapons? Everyone knows about their massive nukes on the moon and jupiter.

Nah, those on Jupiter are Russian. The Japanese took pictures of them a couple of years ago, stupid Russians painted their flag all over the place, basically screaming "THESE ARE RUSSIAN DEATH DEVICES"

 

[Fries]

Where have you been? They discovered long ago that those flags were placed there by Iran. Get your facts straight man.

 

[Stybar]

Where have you been? They discovered long ago that those flags were placed there by Iran. Get your facts straight man.

Are you kidding me? The Iranese don't even have the technology to go beyond Mars. Only the Russians can get as far as Jupiter, save for the Americans, but they have their Venus base.

 

[SovareZza]

I have no idea what the fuck any of you are on about right now.

 

[Fries]

Where have you been? They discovered long ago that those flags were placed there by Iran. Get your facts straight man.

Are you kidding me? The Iranese don't even have the technology to go beyond Mars. Only the Russians can get as far as Jupiter, save for the Americans, but they have their Venus base.

Ahh true I didn't consider that. Still, the major concern after all these years is Pluto and the conspiracy behind it. Whole governments don't even want to acknowledge its presence. We're sitting here worrying about the moon and Jupiter but who knows what could be on pluto.

 

[GothicDrakanas]

It doesn't matter to day is 12/12/12 the marsians coming down to wipe out humanity again like they did the myians

 

[Stybar]

Where have you been? They discovered long ago that those flags were placed there by Iran. Get your facts straight man.

Are you kidding me? The Iranese don't even have the technology to go beyond Mars. Only the Russians can get as far as Jupiter, save for the Americans, but they have their Venus base.

Ahh true I didn't consider that. Still, the major concern after all these years is Pluto and the conspiracy behind it. Whole governments don't even want to acknowledge its presence. We're sitting here worrying about the moon and Jupiter but who knows what could be on pluto.

Right, the Dutch Pluto base is a threat as well. Very clever, first making sure it's no longer recognized as a planet, so you can escape the whole Berlin convention and do whatever the fuck you want out there.

It doesn't matter to day is 12/12/12 the marsians coming down to wipe out humanity again like they did the myians

Didn't see anything though, mate.

 

[Fries]

Ahhh the Dutch. Now everything makes sense, thanks for clearing that up.
Honestly, despite all of the nukes throughout the galaxies, the only thing that matters is the country that controls the stars at the center of each. But as long as we can keep them away from the greedy oil companies, I'm sure the world will be fine.

 

[Stybar]

Ahhh the Dutch. Now everything makes sense, thanks for clearing that up.
Honestly, despite all of the nukes throughout the galaxies, the only thing that matters is the country that controls the stars at the center of each. But as long as we can keep them away from the greedy oil companies, I'm sure the world will be fine.

Exactly! Thankfully, the Mongolian government is one of the few who aren't corrupted by Shell, so our Sun should be safe for at least another 150 years.