Universal Laws

Mave

Mave

TMS Founder
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1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5 Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7 Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16 Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
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#6 is so true for me...
 
1) Not true. I've never had to piss while elbow deep in grease.
2) Completely true. I had a stick of chap stick that rolled off my table. I took me about half an hour of searching to find it, apparently it had rolled in between the corners on the leg facing away from me.
3) Also true (would rather not say why).
4) I've never dialed a wrong number, I don't use the phone much.
5) "The boy who cried wolf". But no nothing like that has ever happened to me.
6) What traffic? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY TREE!
7) The phone usually rings when i have half a shit hanging out of my ass.
8) Not true. However that's probably because I never travel anywhere where people know me with people I don't want to be seen with (the closest town is like 60km away).
9) I don't recall anything like that happening.
10) No. When my balls itch, they ITCH. When my back itches, it's like "eh whatever" (rub against a wall).
11) I don't know where whoever wrote this lives, but we don't assign seats in theaters.
12) I bring the 'coffee' with me.
13) Locker room? I bring my shit with me.
14) I don't eat sandwiches in an area with a rug. My school's floors are tiled.
15) Unfortunately. People just blurt out the most random shit when we're in an argument. Me and my friends where arguing about what "packing heat" means, they all thought it was dressing up warmly >.>.
16) I throw on anything that fits. I don't care much about appearance xD.
17) I don't understand that statement...
18) True. I CANT FIND REFILLABLE PRINTER INK ANYWHERE. I'M NOT GONNA BUY NEW CARTILAGES! FUCK YOU!
19) I don't visit the doctor much... The last time I did was about 3 years ago when they had to take a blood test to test for diabeties.
 
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