If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Pedophiles have trouble fitting in.
My girlfriend has the weirdest fetisih, she likes to dress up as herself and act like a total bitch all the time.
My grandmother was a Cancer, which is ironic because she was actually killed by a giant crab.
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
A recent survey showed that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer. But no one will do it.
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your dad you're gay.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a pedophile but what does she know, she's only 6.
I love giving oral...presentations. But I'm horrible at timing my pauses.
(to your girlfriend) Is someone following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.
If an orphan makes cookies, are they still homemade?
Is my wife disappointed with our sex life? A tiny part of me says yes.
So I was eating this old lady's pussy, when I tasted donkey semen, and I'm like, 'Man Grandma, is that how you died?'
I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y.
I don't believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt and Crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
I'd call you a cunt, but you don't have the warmth or the depth.
When I found out that my gf owned 50,000 bees, I knew then that she was a keeper.
I read about the evils of drinking, so I gave up reading.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, and I can't put it down.
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets... and then it hit me.
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
A baby seal walks into a club...
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't.
I was going to tell a gay joke, butt fuck it.
I once knew a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard.
Giving an alcohol-free beer to a recovering alcoholic is living giving a pedophile a midget in a boy scout uniform.
My wife's gotten really lazy lately, or as she likes to call it; pregnant.
Hammocks are like traps for lazy people.
I put the STD back in stud all I need is you.
If a hooker is raped, is that considered shoplifting?
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
For me the hardest part of my grandfather's death was making it look like an accident.
I’ve been too fucking busy... or vice versa.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, and not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Enjoy.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Pedophiles have trouble fitting in.
My girlfriend has the weirdest fetisih, she likes to dress up as herself and act like a total bitch all the time.
My grandmother was a Cancer, which is ironic because she was actually killed by a giant crab.
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
A recent survey showed that 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not happy.
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer. But no one will do it.
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your dad you're gay.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a pedophile but what does she know, she's only 6.
I love giving oral...presentations. But I'm horrible at timing my pauses.
(to your girlfriend) Is someone following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.
If an orphan makes cookies, are they still homemade?
Is my wife disappointed with our sex life? A tiny part of me says yes.
So I was eating this old lady's pussy, when I tasted donkey semen, and I'm like, 'Man Grandma, is that how you died?'
I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y.
I don't believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt and Crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me.
I'd call you a cunt, but you don't have the warmth or the depth.
When I found out that my gf owned 50,000 bees, I knew then that she was a keeper.
I read about the evils of drinking, so I gave up reading.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, and I can't put it down.
Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets... and then it hit me.
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
A baby seal walks into a club...
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't.
I was going to tell a gay joke, butt fuck it.
I once knew a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard.
Giving an alcohol-free beer to a recovering alcoholic is living giving a pedophile a midget in a boy scout uniform.
My wife's gotten really lazy lately, or as she likes to call it; pregnant.
Hammocks are like traps for lazy people.
I put the STD back in stud all I need is you.
If a hooker is raped, is that considered shoplifting?
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
For me the hardest part of my grandfather's death was making it look like an accident.
I’ve been too fucking busy... or vice versa.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, and not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Enjoy.
