A lady has been sitting at the bar all night pounding down drinks and she's completely hammered. She's so drunk that she can barely talk, but she's trying to converse with the bartender anyways.
"You know, I really like these martoonis," she slurs, "but I don't like the cherries in them, they give me heartburn."
The bartender looks at her for a minute, shakes his head and replys: "First of all, lady, those aren't martoonis, they're martinis. Second, those aren't cherries, they're olives. And that's not heartburn, your tit's in the ashtray.
"You know, I really like these martoonis," she slurs, "but I don't like the cherries in them, they give me heartburn."
The bartender looks at her for a minute, shakes his head and replys: "First of all, lady, those aren't martoonis, they're martinis. Second, those aren't cherries, they're olives. And that's not heartburn, your tit's in the ashtray.